nathan - 9 months old

Another month has passed and yet again it has gone quick, quick, quick! Nathan is 9 months old today, three-quarters of the way to being a one-year-old. I think 9 months is a big milestone because now Nate has been in the world for as long as he was in utero. I'm not exactly sure why, but this feels huge to me.

Nate's ninth month has been busy, with family days out and lots of activities. The weather has changed from snow in the beginning of the month to gloriously sunny days at the end. We visited Nate's uncle Rob in Coventry and I started back at work as well, so a lot has happened! 

On our trip to Coventry

So how is Nate doing? Well, Nate is now a clapping machine! He claps whenever he hears music or if we start singing "If you're happy and you know it". It's incredible to see him comprehending something we say and acting on it. I love it. He is also chewing on his cheerios now and actually swallowing them; last month he was only putting them in his mouth and spitting them out, so this is great progress.

If you're happy and you know it...

In terms of movement, Nate is focusing on refining his standing up skills. I am not sure now if he will crawl or walk first because he still cries after being on his tummy for a while. He just hasn't figured out the whole crawling thing. But he can almost pull himself to standing on the sofa. And he loves to stand and play with his new activity table. He does still lunge forward when sitting, but hasn't been able to get into a hands-and-knees position yet.  

Nate still loves to copy sounds and actions. He will try and imitate us when we are speaking to him and really tries to say words, but they all end up sounding like "ba ba". He loves playing with labels and poking round things like holes, buttons, even my nostrils (!) - I am a little weirded out by that one (but maybe it's a normal baby thing?)

Last week we decided that it was time to face Nate outwards when using our stroller. I kept delaying moving him from facing me because I loved staring at his little face when we went on walks, but a few weeks ago I could tell that he was trying to look around me to see what was going on, so I thought it was time. We took him to an antique's fair near our house on his first outward-facing journey and he loved it. 

Off to the antique's fair

We also only yesterday took him out of his baby seat in the bath and put in him an upright bath chair! We knew he was too big for his baby seat for weeks and weeks, but both my husband and I loved his little baby seat and I think we didn't want to admit he had outgrown it. I feel bad now that we kept him in the baby seat for so long because the first time we put him in the chair he had such a blast splashing and playing with his toys.  

"Can't you see I'm clearly too large for this seat?"

There has been no change to his sleeping yet. He is still up once a night, but what I find great is that he goes down very easily at 7pm and usually (but not always) wakes up around the same time for his night feed at 4am-ish. Although not ideal, the fact that the nights are pretty predictable make everything soooo much easier.  I have been told by a breastfeeding supporter that breastfed babies are generally able to go through the night without a feed once they are 10 months old. So I am clinging onto the hope that in a month or two we will all be getting a full night's sleep.

Next week we are off to France for a 2 week holiday in the sun with my husband's parents. We are all so excited to get some quality family time and to show Nate some new places. 

raising a baby abroad

When I was young I always knew I wanted children and I would let my young imagination run wild, picturing my kids running around the backyard, going to school and climbing trees.  Of course, the images of this new family that filled my daydreams were always set in some generic US town. I never thought I would be raising a family far away from my own home, in a new country. 

Once I moved to the UK and started settling into life with Mr M, I began to realise that England was quickly becoming my home. Before long, I was joking with my family about how funny it would be if my kids had cute English accents and played cricket. That once amusing thought is now a reality as my little English lad Nate is growing up fast and absorbing his environment at a rapid pace. 

When I became pregnant with Nate, I thought about what it would be like to raise a child in a different country from where I grew up. It is certainly not an unusual thing to do. In fact, it is extremely common in both the US and the UK because of the large influx of immigrants to both countries over the last century. And in truth the differences between the US and the UK aren't great, so my challenges are minimal compared to people moving from further places, both culturally and geographically. 

But there are still subtle things that I am having to consider as an American expat raising a British baby - things that I didn't even think about when I became pregnant, probably because they are so small in the big scheme of things. 

Things like choosing my vocabulary appropriately. When we are standing at the window on a Friday morning on recycling day and I say, "ooooh, look at the garbage truck outside", should I be calling it the "rubbish lorry" instead?  When I am singing the alphabet to Nate and come to the end of it do I say X, Y, "Zee" or X, Y, "Zed"? Should I call this vegetable a zucchini or a courgette, and this one an eggplant or an aubergine? 

And what about celebrating holidays that I remember as a child? I think it is important to teach Nate about Jewish holidays like Passover and American holidays like Thanksgiving that were part of my childhood but I am struggling to figure out how to make these part of his life when they are so absent from life here.

American politics and sports also come to my mind. Even though I am not much of a sportswoman or politician, I still have basketball, baseball, ice hockey and presidential elections ingrained into my being. It feels strange to think that Nate won't know about these things unless I explicitly teach him. 

These thoughts are racing through my mind each day as we progress through the year and holidays, sports tournaments and religious celebrations pass. It makes me realise more than ever that my life with Nate is as much a learning experience for me as it is for him. While I make the effort to teach him about Yom Kippur, pumpkin pie and the different ways to pronounce alumin(i)um, he has a lot to teach me about growing up in the UK. Living as an expat and raising a British baby has its challenges, but what great challenges they are to have!


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the last days of maternity leave

It's not long now until my maternity leave comes to an end. This year has been all about change, constant change, and now everything is about to change again.

I don't officially start back at work until 3rd June, but I have agreed (somewhat reluctantly) to work 2 days per week starting from 15th April. I will have 3 weeks off at the beginning of May to go on holiday to France (excited!), but other than that, from 15th April I'm back in work mode. 

I am in two minds about going back to work. I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt for leaving my baby boy. I have never been apart from him for more than a couple hours. I feel like he is my responsibility and putting him in someone else's care for 8 hours a day feels horrible. And I don't want to leave him. I really don't. But I also feel ready to take a break from thinking about poo and weaning and naps and teething for a few hours, to focus my mind on something technical, to converse with people about things other than baby milestones. I feel bad saying this, but it's how I feel. It doesn't make the transition back to work any easier though.

I wish we could afford for me to work only a couple hours each day rather than 4 full days per week. Leaving Nate for 8 hours every day seems too much, but financially we don't have another option. And I haven't even thought about how he is going to go a whole day at nursery without breastfeeding...I keep putting off tackling that issue. 

So these days are my last days of maternity leave. The last of it being just me and my baby boy at home, playing with toys, going to baby groups, exploring parks and libraries and soft play areas. I will miss these days. I know I will never get them back. 

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bubbles!

On Thursday, I took Nate to our local Children's Centre. We go all the time, I love it there! They have a big tube filled with water and plastic fishes in the corner of the play room. When it is turned on, the tube lights up in different colours and bubbles shoot up the middle.

Nate has always been mesmerised by the tube, staring at it from afar since he was only a few weeks old. On Thursday he was gesturing that he wanted to get closer so I perched him up on some cushions right next to the tube. His reactions were so cute, I just had to share. 

If you are in England, I definitely recommend checking out your local Sure Start Children's Centre. The centres are government funded and completely free to use. 

1 hour ~ flashback friday

Seven months and one day ago this photo was taken. It was exactly one hour after Nathan was born, but I wasn't there. I was in surgery getting my womb sorted out.  

I am sad that I missed this time with my son, but I am grateful that my husband was with him during these first precious moments. Nathan wasn't alone.  

I am also happy that my husband took a ton of photos while I was in surgery - including this one. Just look at Nathan's little outstretched toes and his squished face! My birth might not have been perfect, but he was. 

{This post is linking up to Flashback Friday over at Mummy Mishaps and The Real Housewife of Suffolk County}

nathan - 7 months old

Nathan turned seven months today! This past month he has truly started to become an independent little person. His goofy personality is shining through and it seems like each day he subtly learns a new skill. 

I think the most obvious and exciting change from last month is his ability to observe and react to his environment. Instead of only noticing people and facial expressions he now reacts and interacts with everything around him. For example, today I was at the sink washing my hands. I heard giggling coming from across the room and looked over to see Nate staring at the water as it poured from the tap, laughing at the splashing sounds and the action of my hands rubbing together. I then started laughing at his reaction, which made him laugh even more. The two of us were in hysterics, it was a perfect moment. 

What's so funny?

His hand-eye coordination is improving a lot, especially in the past week. He is now pointing at things, delicately placing his index finger on an object of interest and pushing. He can almost use a pincer grasp, but not quite. Mostly he still uses his whole palm to pick things up. He started waving two days ago! OK, maybe not proper waving, more like a full arm flap with his palm facing out, but it is so darn adorable. 

Nate is great at sitting up. He loves sitting and looking at the world around him, but he is generally not interested on being on his stomach. Although he knows how to roll, if I place him on his back he will stay on his back. I don't see any signs of him starting to crawl. I am not overly bothered though - watching my other mummy friends frantically chase after their crawlers makes me appreciate Nate's current immobile state.

Weaning is going well and we are still doing BLW for the majority of our meals. Nate has started to accept being spoon fed occasionally too so we have been incorporating a mixture of traditional weaning and BLW. I hope to post a more detailed weaning update shortly.

Nate is a talker! He babbles and mumbles and screeches. His favourite thing to say is 'mama', but not just to me, he says it to everyone and everything. Sometimes he drops the first 'm' and my husband likes to joke that he is calling me Emma. A few days ago he started smacking his lips, really hard and really loudly - sometimes I think he will smack his lips right off. 

Nate still has not slept through the night, but as a breastfed baby I don't expect him to until he is eating significantly more solid food. He goes to bed at 6.30pm and tends to wake once in the night around 3am for a quick feed and then goes back to sleep until 6am. I say this as if there is a predictable routine - there is not! Last night he was up at 12.30am and 4am for feeds. I won't miss the broken sleep when he finally sleeps all night long, but I will miss the middle of the night cuddles, just the two of us.

conquering the ball pit

This is Nate's first time in a ball pit at our local soft play centre. He was terrified when I started to get near the pit, but all his other baby friends were tumbling around in it with smiles on their little faces, so who was I to deny him of this essential ball-filled experience?

I slowly placed him into the pit, bum first, then his head - gently, gently. His lower lip stretched out, signalling the beginning of a cry. I was perched on top of him, ready to quickly remove him when the inevitable wailing began. 

He slowly looked around, noticing the other babies. They weren't crying. He placed his hands softly on the orange ball resting on his stomach. He looked right at me with his pensive grey eyes. His lower lip retracted and a slight, hardly noticeable smirk, took its place. 

I snapped this photo at the exact moment when I knew Nate had conquered the ball pit! It may seem insignificant, but for me, the way his face transformed from terror to satisfaction is a memory that will stick in my mind for a long time. 

This is Cheryl's entry into the Printerpix Photo competition. 
(category = babies under 2)

See the other entries and find out how to enter yourself here. 

vine

OK, so I know that Vine has been around for a few months now, but I only found out about it the other day and I have to confess I am a little obsessed already! In case you don't know Vine is an iPhone app and is like Instgram but with short looping videos instead of photographs. 

When I was younger I had dreams of being of being a film director, and who knows that could still happen (pipe dream!), but in the mean time I am having fun directing 7 second video clips of Nate. 

Here are my two favourites so far -

e.n.t. update

The other day I posted about a small lump in Nate's ear canal and our upcoming appointment at the E.N.T department in the hospital. If you want to read the original post you can find it here. The appointment was yesterday.

I met up with Mr M around 2pm at the hospital and the 3 of us meandered our way through the long halls of the hospital until we found the E.N.T. department tucked into a back corner. 

Nate was in a good mood and spent his time mostly immersed in a shiny twisty toy we found in a basket in the corner of the waiting room. 

We got called in by the nurse after about 30 minutes. The doctor bounced out of his seat when entered the room. He was a large eastern European man with a booming voice, a thick accent, and heaps of energy.

He had a quick look in Nate's ear.

"Oh yes, I have seen this before many of times. It is a....how do you call it....atheroma....sebaceous cyst...fatty pocket. We just need to poke it with a needle and pfffffffffffft squeeze out the fat"

My eyes widened. 

"You want me to poke it? With a needle!? When I get home!!?"

"Oh no, no, no, we do that here in hospital. Surgical procedure under general anesthesia."

General anesthesia  The words I was hoping I wouldn't hear. I don't want my baby to be put under for such an insignificant thing as a..."fatty pocket". 

The doctor must have sensed my disappointment. He immediately said that we can wait 6 months and come back to have it examined again. He said we can "give him time to grow a little" before undergoing the procedure. I felt some relief at this. At least we don't have to think about it now; but eventually he will have to have it removed. And I will have to see my little man be put under. 

Although I am not looking forward to that day, I am so soooooo happy that the lump turned out to be nothing serious. 

the gallery: bond

Baby Nate and I have a special bond, of course we do. We are with each other every hour of the day, we sleep much of the night in the same bed, we do activities together, eat together, we are infinitely bonded to each other and it is incredible. 

However, there is something extra special and heart-warming about the relationship that my husband has with Nate. The father-son bond they have is so meaningful; I could spend hours watching them interact. They give each other a look that is only meant for the other. And daddy is the only person that has dunked Nate under water at swim class. In fact, a lot of their bonding time is water-based. Since the day we got home from the hospital, Mr M has bathed Nate every.single.night - no joke, there hasn't been a night that he has missed in the past 6 months! 

Recently Mr M has also started getting up early with Nate on a Saturday morning to allow me to sleep for a couple much needed extra hours. I don't see what they get up to, but every now and then I can hear a giggle from downstairs and I know that they are happy in each other's company, and building a bond with each other that will last a lifetime.  

This post was written in response to a prompt from The Gallery on the Sticky Fingers blog. Why not check out The Gallery to see what other people have posted? 

nathan - 6 months old

Today Nate is 6 months. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. From being a super tiny squishy newborn  he is now sitting up on his own, playing with toys, babbling and interacting with others. Look at him here playing with Nana Val yesterday (so cute right?)

And 3 days ago he cut his first little tooth on the bottom right. It's just a little jagged piece peeking out from the gums, but it's there! It has been causing him a lot of discomfort and I think the left one will be coming soon too. It's frustrating to see him in so much pain when there really isn't much I can do but give him cuddles and the odd dose of pain reliever. Poor little lad. 

At 24 weeks we started weaning Nate onto solid foods. I am still breastfeeding him and I am fortunate enough to be able to take a year off work, so I hadn't been stressing too much about weaning him any earlier than 24 weeks. In fact, I hadn't really thought much about the whole solid food situation until I went to a weaning workshop in December. After speaking with some friends I decided to follow Annabel Karmel's weaning plan, which is based on traditional weaning, using purees and spoon feeding. I thought it would be easier to do what my friend's were doing so we could support each other. Nate had other plans...

On our first day of spoon feeding he hesitantly took a little bit of the puree, then grabbed the spoon from our hands and decided he wanted to feed himself.

We continued to try and feed him homemade puree food over the next few days, but Nate just did not want to be fed by someone else. He would purse his lips, turn to the side and protest. It was quite obvious that he would be more suited to a weaning plan where he was in control of feeding himself. I did some research on baby-led weaning and decided to try that instead and we have been doing well ever since. Nate has now fed himself toast, cucumber slices, banana, avocado, papaya and porridge fingers. He is clearly an independent and tactile little man and I'm very proud of him. Baby-led weaning is a messy and slow process, but it is so rewarding to see him learn how to feed himself. 

Cucumber

Toast

I have been enjoying wearing Nate in slings more as he is getting older. It's nice to hold him close while still be able to have my hands free. If he is fussy, I can pick him up, put him in a sling and still get things done. And we keep each other nice and warm on these winter days. Here we are out with the Moby wrap the other day.

I recently joined my local babywearing group and was pleased to find that they run a sling library. It costs £10 a year (bargain!) and I can loan out different slings to try for 2 weeks at a time. I currently have on loan a Storch baby carrier from them which hubby and I are enjoying. We took it out on Saturday in the snow and Nate fell asleep in it. He looked so peaceful. 

We are going to London in a couple weeks to register Nate at the American Embassy and to get his US passport. We plan on only taking a sling with us which will allow us to negotiate the busy trains and tubes with less hassle. 

Good-bye 2012

Today is New Year's Eve; the end of a busy, exciting, chaotic and amazing 2012. I started the year pregnant (in fact I was still keeping my pregnancy a secret when 2012 began) and ended the year with a 5 month old gorgeous boy who keeps me on my toes every day. 

I haven't blogged in a few months (oops!) and lots has happened.  We went to Florida for 3 weeks in November and celebrated Thanksgiving with the American family. They all loved Nate and spoiled him; it was sad to leave at the end of the trip. Nate did amazingly well on the flight and liked his sky cot. I am still breastfeeding and this really made the flight fairly simple. I can't imagine having to do a 9 hour flight with bottles and formula. 

On the flight

We then celebrated Christmas with the British family back here in the UK and it was such a lovely day. Nathan enjoyed watching everyone open presents and he was all smiles as we crinkled the wrapping paper in front of him. He even chewed and swallowed his first solid food, a boiled carrot, on Christmas day!

Nathan is growing up and developing so quickly. It's amazing to see how much he changes each week. He is currently sitting up on his own for a few minutes at a time before toppling over sideways or backwards. He giggles a lot now - mostly when we blow raspberries on his tummy or when we do silly dance moves in front of him. But he laughs at random things too; he let out a huge chuckle when Bailey was scratching his ears a couple days ago - he is so easily pleased.

We plan on starting him on a proper weaning plan onto solid foods in a couple weeks, but in the meantime have been letting him lick on pieces of food, like the carrot on Christmas day. This morning I let him lick on a piece of banana and the face he made was one of shock and horror followed by a smile and finally a large shriek of laughter. I think he will enjoy his food once we get started. And perhaps being on solid food will help him sleep better, but I'm not counting on it. Last night he was up every 2 hours. The night before he slept 6 hours in a row. There is no consistency in his sleeping which in some ways makes it harder because I am always on edge, never sure when he will wake. 

This evening I hope he lets hubby and I enjoy a glass of bubbly and some cheesy New Year's Eve TV before waking up.

Happy New Years everyone and here's to a fun toddler-packed 2013! 

nathan - 3 months old

Little Nathan is now 3 months old. I have read many books which claim that after the first 3 months, life with a new baby gets significantly easier and I think for the most part the books are right. We still have moments of inconsolable crying (mostly from tiredness) and a night or two a week where he won't settle but for the most part he is easy going, growing and full of smiles. 

Last week Nathan giggled for the first time and it was magical! He now seems to giggle at the most random times. He let out a huge boyish chuckle today at me when I was washing the dishes and the other day when my husband was rubbing his legs. It's so cute but we can never tell what will make him laugh so it's always surprising when he does. 

He also rolled over from his tummy to his back for the first time this month. It was completely by accident and he hasn't done it again since, but his neck strength is really strong so I'm sure he will do it again soon. Part of me doesn't want him to start rolling because then I will have to be super vigilant when putting him on the bed or on the changing table. 

Nathan weighs around 12 pounds at the moment (last weigh-in was on 9th October and he was 11 pounds 11 ounces). I read somewhere that once babies weigh 12 pounds they should be capable of sleeping through the night but we have had no such luck. Nathan goes to bed at 7pm. We then wake him up for a feed before we go to sleep around 10pm. He then wakes up around 4am for a feed and then is up for the day anytime between 6am and 8am. I'm hoping he drops the 4am feed sometime soon.

I am still meeting up with my NCT group once a week on Wednesdays. It's great being able to see all the babies growing up together and to compare how they are progressing. I also attend baby yoga (Lazy Daisy Baby) on Thursdays and am thinking about joining a Mom and Baby group on Tuesdays. And from January we will go to baby sign language class on Fridays. I never knew I would be so busy during maternity leave!

We leave for Florida in 3 weeks and will be spending Thanksgiving there. I'm am looking forward to finally introducing Nathan to the American family. 

nathan - 2 months old

Nathan turned two months old today and will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Where has the time gone!? The days are starting to fly now by as we settle into a routine and have started to fill our weeks with activities, groups and classes.

Nathan has changed so much in the last month. He weighed 9 lbs 10 oz two weeks ago, so he is probably well over 10 lbs now! He is really alert and can focus on things farther away than just in front of him. His hearing is getting more sensitive too; he is constantly looking to see where different sounds are coming from. He loves to give big cheesy smiles and I think he isn't too far from laughing because he does this cute silent laugh thing which is hilarious. Overall, as long as his tummy is full and he isn't tired, he is a really happy baby. Last week he started to take interest in his hands, staring at them and putting them in his mouth whenever possible. I keep thinking he will start sucking his thumb (which I am not against) but he hasn't figured out how to do that yet. 

Breastfeeding is going well and has gotten much easier in the past month. Nathan only nurses for about 15 minutes each time and then can go up to 3 hours in between feeds, which feels like forever compared to hourly feedings that he was doing not so long ago. We have introduced one bottle of formula at 10pm so that my husband can give it while I get some rest. This has really helped with the sleep deprivation and most days I don't feel too tired. Nathan's sleeping is also improving slowly and he often only wakes up once in the night now for a feed around 3am, but most nights  he wakes twice, which still isn't bad.

I visited work today for the first time with him and he did really well! I expressed some breastmilk which I brought with me to feed him in the office and he took the bottle perfectly then fell asleep in my colleagues arms, which was so adorable. I can't believe I am already a quarter of the way through my maternity leave! On Wednesday we booked his place at the nursery where my husband works and luckily they will allow us to be flexible with days as long as we give them 6 weeks notice. It seemed like a really good environment and it's great that father and son will only be around the corner from each other (I'm jealous!). 

My mom arrives this weekend to spend a full 2 weeks with us and her grandson. She is so excited and so are we. I'm sure he will get lots of cuddles from Grandma! 

Here are some of my favourite photos from the past month...

Bath time 

Silent laugh

Finding his hands

Family walkies time

Enjoying time with mommy

on choosing a name

My husband and I have chosen a name for our son - or at least have finally agreed on a name that neither of us hate. We are happy with the name and sometimes, when we are in a brave mood, even refer to baby with this name.

I am trying to get used to the name now. I find myself randomly repeating it in my head in different tones, moods, inflections. I imagine saying the name in jest, in anger, in amazement - just to see if it "fits". I think of a multitude of nicknames and how he will be called in school, at work, by his friends. 

But I still don't want to announce this name as official simply because I don't want to get any negative reactions to a name I am just starting to love.

I have mentioned names I like to people at work or to friends and I have gotten some unenthusiastic responses. I don't understand why when people ask "what name do you like?" and I reply with something, they think it's perfectly fine to look at me with a grimace and say "oh no - I don't like that" It drives me mad, makes me doubt myself, and - more than anything else - confuses me! 

So I'm going to keep the name quiet for now, perhaps even until after the birth. People may feel they can make rude comments now before the baby is here, but once he has been given this name for life, they will think twice before pulling an ugly face and looking down on our name choice.